Tuesday, July 14, 2015

Child like dreamer...

I, in my natural state, am fueled by passion, much of which can be detrimental to my well being if I don't keep my eyes on God. That's just the truth. As I child I had an imagination & dreamed big dreams. Encountering pain in my teenage years in a myriad of ways started the slow death of my willingness to dream in hopes for good in my life. Over the last 7 years of being fully surrendered to Christ I have endured much. Sometimes so much that fear stamped me. Not in a I won't serve God anymore type of way but in a I'm cautious and I certainly don't let myself get my hopes up. Well this year I felt the Lord ask me to rest in His love for me. I felt Him whisper several times that I would not lack anything and I would not toil or work in my own power for the things I hoped for. This would be difficult for me but God is faithful to His kids.

This afternoon the Holy Spirit used my 6 year old Lincoln to let me "feel" how much He hungers & desires for me to trust Him for good in my life. How He actually aches to give me good things & is on the edge of His seat saying YES Katie! Dream! Have fun! Enjoy my Presence because I'm waiting in anticipation for you!

Lincoln has a small kiddy pool. One that keeps him from "jumping" deep & restricts his adventurous side. The neighbors across the street have a nice sized pool. He sat out on the front porch in 100 degree weather longing to "swim in a big pool". He even gathered the courage to walk across the street in his swimsuit (of course as long as I accompanied him) to ask if he could swim. The little girl who lived there wasn't home so back to the front porch he went dismayed. This deeply began to grieve me in a way that I didn't expect. So I called around & thankfully found a friend of my older son who said yes to letting Lincoln swim. Here was his conditions. "Mom, if you won't swim with me then I'm not going. I want you to jump off that board at the end of the pool too." He went on & on with a grin so big my heart melt even more. It would be just he and I, free reign over a big pool. To be honest I'm still quick to tear up typing this because my boy was pursuing time not just for himself but with me. That was hitting a deep place inside. We arrived to the pool & immediately he jumps in & invites me in too. He encouraged me to get my hair wet & to see who could hold their breath the longest. He was so impressed when I dove off the diving board and to be perfectly honest I was too. My middle son, who happened to be already visiting his friend stopped by for a brief moment and said "wow mom, you look like you've done that before. Good job." I'm telling you this story tonight because as I fully engaged my son tonight I felt Holy Spirit encouraging me to let myself fully feel again. To let myself experience life just like I was tonight with a little boy who had dreams of jumping in a big pool. As my heart ached to find a pool for Lincoln so too was Holy Spirit eager to dream with me again. He wanted to accompany me through more laughs, more adventures, and spend time with me feeling free from the weight of the world.

What a gift of refreshing in the natural & in the spirit did the Holy Spirit deliver to me tonight through my sweet Linkylove. I did not expect that my heart could feel so full. I could have cared less what I looked like in my bathing suite or what a mess I had made of my hair or the mascara that smeared across my face. I floated in the sun & for moments at a time I felt overwhelmingly like God was smiling face to face with me. I was for once in a long time...carefree.

Has life gotten so overwhelming that you can't remember the last time you let yourself be a kid. There's something to child like faith. There is something about those who chose to follow after God & believe that the limit is so much further than the sky. Holy Spirit wants to speak to us about the world around us. He wants to release the Father's heart of hope over our hearts. He wants to show us greatness right under our noses that the heaviness of life has distracted us from...

"The sunrise, of course, doesn't care if we watch it or not. It will keep being beautiful, even if no one bothers to look at it." ~Gene Amole

Cause He's a good good Father...it's who You are and I am loved by You...it's who I am.

Don't miss out on the adventure God has given us called LIFE!

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