pure enjoyment...

This is the place I've longed for. The ability to live my life one day at a time & fully embrace it. To enjoy my husband's company & the many facets that come with being a hands on mom. To not feel like I was laboring in vein when washing dishes, sweeping, or cooking but finding delight in being a woman who takes care of her husband, children, and home just like it speaks of in Proverbs 31:13 "and works with her hands in delight(willingly)." I don't guess I realized that the very habits that kept me idle & docile also robbed me of being rewarded with a quiet, gentle spirit. It wasn't that God was holding back but that I was standing in His way. His path for me is God-led not Katie led. As hard as we may try our way is built & thought up by our own human minds. The bible is clear that God's ways are higher than ours yet we still think we know best. It's quite obvious to me now that I don't. Not without staying close to His side. I have been a Christian since a small child & a fully committed to seeking Him since 2008 yet 2013 has finally been the year of complete surrender to everything. The year I found what "rest" meant.  I've battled my mind for much of my life. Never enjoying the now because I was always contemplating the future or wishing something was different instead of letting it be the way it was & simply praying with faith that God would change what needed changing. I'm finally enjoying letting life flow & following God where He leads. I'm enjoying cherishing my life as simple & boring at times as it may seem...I reflect back on this day & smile because I felt the tangible experience of being found excellent in God's eyes & worth more than jewels and He did it through my husband & sons...

An excellent wife, who can find?
For her worth is far above jewels.
The heart of her husband trusts in her,
And he will have no lack of gain.
She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life.
She looks for wool and flax
And works with her ^[a]hands ^[b]in delight.

Proverbs 31:10-13

obedience requires surrender...

Who knew that finally obeying that sweet little whisper to step away from my biggest distraction (facebook) would be so monumental to my level of peace. Who knew what faith & trust would begin to be built in the first few days after making the commitment to obey what He asks of me. I've put this off for months now.What I have immediately begun to notice & experience is His overwhelming peace. The thought comes "Why in the world did you wait so long?" This is exactly what I needed but didn't see. A time of resting, healing, and strengthening. The time to experience His peace that surpasses all understanding. Phil. 4:7 in the NASB uses the word comprehension in place of understanding. I believe that accurately sums up how I would explain what is occurring. A plethora of old hurts have started to  surface and faithfully He is healing each one. I'm certain there will be much more to come. Boy, distractions really divert us from seeing what lay beneath the surface of our hearts. What I'm understanding is that trusting God is outside of my human understanding. Alone I am unable to fully trust Him but when I obey in faith and do things outside of my comfort zone He is quick & faithful to reward that obedience with His peace. A peace so immeasurable that I can't even comprehend it's depths nor its abundant supply to me when I trust God completely. What stepping away from something I enjoyed yet spent entirely too much time occupied with has discovered is opened eyes & heart to hear Him speak. It's allowed my mind & heart to rest in Him and not be entangled in the affairs of others. In resting & quieting my spirit I'm finding strength. Strength in knowing that God is my All & All, my best friend, the lover of my soul. How had I not experienced this before you may ask. I did to a certain degree but then I felt a holding pattern begin to form. I had reached a plateau in my encounter with God because my failure to love something by spending more time occupied with it, than my Creator proved it. No matter what excuse I may have offered, my heart revealed the truth with my actions & my time commitment to something other than Him. It's not the same for all of us but we all have something that may be standing in the way of a deeper relationship with God. For me it was time to quit pretending that I hadn't heard Him ask me to step away. It was time to kill what had demanded my attention for far too long. It was time to remove any & all distractions in the way of what God had waiting for me. TRUST is key. I know by August I will have so much more to glean back on. We serve a faithful God who loves His children. So much so that He won't compete with anything or anyone. I just encourage you to ask of yourself...Is there anything & I mean anything holding you back? What needs to be put in it's proper place so that you can SOAR to new heights in Christ???

This scripture especially jumped out at me tonight & I felt so loved by my Daddy God. That's what I've notice too in these last few days...His tangible expression of love towards me through the scriptures...I stand amazed because tonight & in the days to come I'm entrusting my soul to a FAITHFUL Creator by doing what He has asked of me.

 Therefore, those also who suffer according to the will of God shall entrust their souls to a faithful Creator in doing what is right.~1 Peter 4:19

fierce...

“Though she be but little, she is fierce!”

― William Shakespeare, A Midsummer Night's Dream

I've loved that quote since I can remember. I've wanted to be little since the year I hit right over 5'11. I remember very vividly hitting 5'11 3/4 my sophomore year in high school. I know exactly how much because I father measured me on the wooden frame of our dining room french doors. I held onto that measurement because nothing in me wanted the taunting I was already receiving  for being so tall already. I was asked repeatedly by boys if I was 6'2 or 6'3 because in their  5'9 frame they desperately wanted to be 6 feet. I would learn that much later. Instead of embracing what made me different I allowed it along with other things to become what I would build as a wall of defense against the teasing. I've been fierce since I was a child. I remember being in trouble frequently for my mouth, God knows it was fierce, and my fiery little attitude. I was the middle child & only girl. I would say a tough fit between an older brother & the little brother who was just 16 months my Jr. I had no clue how to properly handle my fierceness so it was quite the problem for me growing up. I think even now at times that because of my height people assume I'm some form of fierce,  the word I hear most is intimidating. Can you imagine what that feels like? To have something about yourself stand out so much that it causes a variety of  words to be attached to your persona? Well, I think it's safe to say that every single word that was repeated to me as far as describing me I once allowed to become my identity. I remember loving as a young girl that my friends would come to me to "handle business" and to defend them with words. No body messed with my friends. I don't know that, that was ever me. I have a tender heart and care deeply about others and for years on end what they thought of me. I became whatever anyone needed me to be even if it meant intimidating because at least I was accepted or so I thought. 

Fast forward to my adulthood & this is what I've come to understand. Everyone has something to offer. We all have something that labeled us in our past that makes us feel less than. Thanks to God & His redeeming power I am able to embrace my height and refuse the labels that I once embraced as apart of who I was. I am not perfect but I am redeemed & that's enough for me & for you. Let's look at Jesus for a moment. You know the Savior of the world who hung around the sinners & tax collectors.(See Mark chapter 2) It all makes sense as a grown up to me. He didn't surround Himself with those who thought they were better than He was. No He sat right in the middle of brokenness & loved them. I think that's been a valuable lesson I've learned too. It doesn't represent Christianity well when we voluntarily keep hanging around with those who deliberately hurt us or tear us down. Have you ever noticed how accepting those are with little? They will share the last piece of bread with you. No questions asked. That's what I see Jesus doing. That's who I want to be & who I want to be around. He kept moving from town to town only keeping those close who as much as they could supported Him, defended Him and followed Him. 

Never let those who do not appreciate you, talk harshly about you, and pick out all the bad stuff stick around. My "fierce" hasn't left it's strong & active but now it looks a lot more like love than insecurity. I don't take defeat, stand up for what's right(I'm working on softening this), and cheer others on to victory in Christ. I choose to see the good & struggle when others sell themselves short of God's promises.

I may not be little...but I'm fierce!

Sorry not sorry...joy!

Have you ever noticed that when someone is happy that there's always a negative Nancy hiding in the background ready to steal any form of joy there is to be had? I'm speaking of what I have watched become a very active part of life as freedom in Christ became the foundation in which I stood. It's apparent in social media, groups of people, churches, etc. It's not something I would blame entirely upon people but I would most definitely attribute it to a combination of satan & the wickedness of the flesh. I think what bothers me most is the journey I traveled through hell to find freedom. The process of working through my misinformed mind & way of thinking. The mountains of self-hate I conquered & the day after day effort to become what God asked me to be and still am. When He called me to live His way it included the daily pursuit of obedience & the desire for holiness. I took it as a personal command when He told me "Be holy for I am holy" . I actually love the entirety of 1 Peter 1:13-16 "Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed. As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: "Be holy, because I am holy."Holiness isn't perfection & it isn't labeled by men. It's a pursuit to live after God's heart. It's a way of life. I haven't "arrived" by any means to being all God has called me to be but I've come a long way.

My prayers sometime include asking God "why?" and most times I'm left with very few answers as to why people want to steal joy, or discourage others, or for just plain meanness. But I'm reminded I was once that way too and still can be if I'm not seeking God consistently. I'm encouraged when I read that I am apart of the body of Christ that is cheered on by Heaven to let our light shine! You see it's the flesh that creates a jealousy when we see others standing out & shining. The enemy would love nothing more than to create false thoughts in our minds about those we see enjoying life with simplicity. I guess I'm finally on the enjoying side of life and I refuse to allow anyone to assign me judgement. I love pictures & love capturing myself & kids as often as possible. One day I'll be old & gray and I'll take a picture of my smiling face then too. I'll keep sharing joy everywhere I go and posting encouragement for all to see.You see when you look at someone & "assume" you know their heart without getting to really know them you sell yourself short, not the other way around. We serve the world & the Kingdom of God absolutely no purpose when we don't embrace life & truly live it. So think the next time you want to complain or murmur about someone that is being themselves. Instead of finding something about them that bothers you try staring back at yourself and finding a way to be done with the negativity and purpose to start to shine too. STOP being an active participant that focuses on labeling flaws that God sees as delightful. Here's to shining & being apart of the light in the darkness with a smile on my face. If that bothers you here's a prayer that God's brilliance rubs off on you & you soon start to shine too!

Thank you Father for showing me love and in doing so teaching me how love is done. Help me to always realign my thinking with Yours. Create in me a pure heart with pure motives and help me to be a beacon of light that spotlights the darkness so that others can find their way to You. 

Redemption at it's finest...

Easter serves as the reminder that I wasn't good enough, worthy enough, or beautiful enough to make it back to God. It's the day I'm reminded that because of Jesus I am now, all of the above. Not on my on merit or by my own righteousness but because of Him! I stood in this mornings worship service & couldn't keep the tears from streaming(not that they don't frequently during worship) but this morning was different. Easter serves as a time of such deep reflection & thankfulness for me. That He is who He said He is. That because of Him all my ugliness is redeemed & made beautiful. I've felt waves of His love & peace wash over me today. Mostly because I feel very humbly thankful. I woke up made a big breakfast and when I was tempted to feel overwhelmed by the time crunch & the fact I was doing it all by myself, His victory gently reminded me to say "Thank you that I have this family & the ability to cook for them." Again at lunch something similar. I find it encouraging to live life aware of what knowing Him awards me. We have the mind of Christ therefore we can choose to love, think the best, be thankful, and enjoy what we have instead of the alternative murmuring & dissatisfaction. What I feel most today is the priceless gift we've been given on the Cross. I refuse to ever down play it's importance or glorify it into the Easter Bunny's day. When I sing the words "Your love never fails, it never gives up, it never runs out on me." I will continue to probably get choked up because it's true. In all it's simplicity, I'm overwhelmed with a cup that overruns with His grace. The grace He so willingly offered for us all on the Cross & so valiantly displayed when He said "It is finished" Today is the 2,000th plus celebration of our redemption! Now that's something to shout, dance, and praise about!  Be blessed today!!

When God reveals your inner warrior...

What I'm about to share with you may click inside your spirit or completely weird you out. Either way I want to share of what has happened because it's been confirmed too many times to blow off as happenstance. A few weeks ago the Lord gave me a vision. It was me, I was reminded instantly of Katniss from the Hunger Games. I was standing in a off white dress. It was fitting but not tight so that it still identified my femininity, a gold belt accentuated my waist. I was immediately drawn to several things.

1.) I was muscular. It was obvious I was strong & agile. Able to defend myself easily from any outside attack  2.) My hair was down & rolled back, my head was adorned with a head band, I loved that. 3.) I was carrying a bow & arrow on my shoulder. It was my weapon & I was always aware of it's presence on my body 4.) I was looking around. I appeared to be on guard waiting for what mission I would be given next.

The picture was quick but my spirit hasn't stopped thinking about it for weeks now. I've shared it with close friends & had an interpretation but tonight after speaking to a friend via facebook I was confirmed again that the vision I saw was indeed from God. I don't feel like He was showing me so much what I physically looked like although my physical strength was emphasized. It was who I was to Him, in His eyes. It was who He saw when He looked upon me as His daughter. I believe this is how we should all begin to see ourselves as warriors ready for battle. 

Psalm 18:34 says "He trains my hands for battle, So that my arms can bend a bow of bronze." vs 39 goes on to say, "For Thou has girded me with strength for battle…" I want to accurately portray this so that you feel it too. I want you to see that we are living in times that require our diligent training so we will be fully prepared for whats to come. We must be girded with the TRUTH of the WORD. We must be solid about what the bible says and to be leaders to those around us. We must walk in love but never compromise what Jesus died for. God has asked of us holiness. 1 Peter 1:16 says "Be holy as I am holy." Friends we must take the assignment to endure & fight the good fight.(1 Timothy 6:12)

What I hope you feel inspired to do after reading this is to dig in to God. Seek Him out & let Him show you what it is He would have you do to prepare. 1 Corinthians 9:25 speaks of this training. "Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last but we do it to get a crown that will last forever." A crown that lasts forever!! Let us be strong, passionate, uncompromisable warriors! We are entering into a new season. Get excited & get prepared. 

Consider this...

I'm going to post something that may not be the "popular" thing to hear or say but I was born with boldness coursing through my veins so I'm prepared for whatever persecution may follow.  I'm addressing what needs to be said at least what my spirit hears resounding loudly right now so here it goes. For far too long we've addressed stereotypical sins. We've put faces on them & in the process segregated those guilty, therefore kicking being Christ-like out the window with our actions. I wonder how many hearts we're guilty of causing to stumble because the way we acted didn't match what we were saying on Sunday's. I'm not here to say I support marriage equality because I believe exactly what the Bible says about marriage and that settles it. I don't have an "opinion" because I choose to follow what God has instructed as Truth. I don't have to lay out my beliefs for you to know where I stand because my guide for life isn't man made but Spirit breathed. I love God & I love ALL His creation. I don't get the privilege to pick & choose who is lovable or worthy to be judged because the plank in my eye is taking entirely much too long to get out. The religious spirit that rests upon some men may immediately take offense but newsflash if it's not done in love please step away from the podium. We aren't gonna win souls by slamming people to the ground and shaming them but you know what does attract others to Jesus? The undeniable feeling of acceptance when they feel completely undeserving, I've been there. God didn't come to me and remind me of all the horribly embarrassing decisions I had made. No, He came to offer me new life & that became my mission from that moment on. To introduce people to a God that was as strong as He was tender. His very presence in my life commanded I deal severely with my choices & make changes. It wasn't a man who did it. Only God has that kind of power, to change the heart of a man. Thank you Jesus for the sacrifice that made reconciliation possible.

You want to know where we've gone terribly wrong? By not addressing the multiple brazen sins secretly being committed & many done in public arrogantly then exploited all over America as normal. By sitting idly by while our children go fatherless because of divorce & accepting it as part of life. God hates divorce. That's a pretty strong word yet it's exactly what's said in Malachi 2:16. While we're pointing out sin let's address fornication before marriage, lying, and pride. All strongly addressed in the scriptures as things that God detests or hates. 

The list is endless & it's birthed in our own desires which lead to sin. While we're busy building cases against the specific sins that make us uncomfortable why don't we address all sin which means then we'll address the fall of man and maybe just maybe we can deal with the issue of the heart. It's the heart of men that conjure up imaginations big enough to explore way past what's safe or healthy in any of our lives. It's men who allow sin to run rampant in their lives & it's sin that has become categorized by it's severity. Not by God but by you guessed it, man. We want to talk about homosexuality like it's the only sin spoken so harshly of in the Bible. How about we address adultery & how it rips apart families every day, or better yet let's talk about gluttony which is just as frowned upon in God's eyes. 

What I'm trying to say is look at the whole picture. Not just the parts that you don't agree with because you think it's "wrong". We as a nation need to address the root of ALL our sin & then, maybe then we'll have revival in the heart of men. I pray that hearts are awakened not to what's up for decision in the Supreme Court but what sin are you allowing in your everyday life. What's your backyard look like? Stop for 5 seconds & realize just because you don't agree with someones lifestyle doesn't mean you have to argue hatefully with them and just because you love someone that does things you don't agree with doesn't mean you "support" what they choose to do with their own lives. 

I pray that God makes us all sick with our sin and that from that compassion is birthed for others. I pray that the desire to pray & love others begins to far outweigh the need to be right or feel justified and this goes for everyone who picks & chooses whats right or wrong without first consulting God & His Holy Word…

2 Corinthians 5:14-21

New American Standard Bible (NASB)

¹⁴ For the love of Christ controls us, having concluded this, that one died for all, therefore all died; ¹⁵ and He died for all, so that they who live might no longer live for themselves, but for Him who died and rose again on their behalf.
¹⁶ Therefore from now on we recognize no one ^[a]according to the flesh; even though we have known Christ ^[b]according to the flesh, yet now we know Him in this way no longer.¹⁷ Therefore if anyone is in Christ, ^[c]he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come. ¹⁸ Now all these things are from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation, ¹⁹ namely, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and ^[d]He has ^[e]committed to us the word of reconciliation.
²⁰ Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were making an appeal through us; we beg you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. ²¹ He made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.