Saturday, August 4, 2012

the heart of my Father...

I have a pretty bad habit of not blogging for what feels like an absorbent amount of time. I have much to say but not necessarily the release to say it. Today I decided to blog because of the heaviness that has lay upon my heart since yesterday. I went to lunch with friends & a waiter immediately caught my eye. I immediately felt God show me her sweet nature. I mean I could feel such kindness & I hadn't even spoken to her. I could also see the rejection she had encountered, the hurt, and desire to simply be accepted by those around her.  She was delicately walking &  dressed like any young lady would. I wanted to embrace her in a hug & then it hit me, she was a he. Even this morning I feel broken inside for him. I want so bad to just make him feel loved... For the loving, caring person that God revealed to me the first time I entered the building. God loved him immensely & showed me, I believe, to help me understand that just because someones issue is their sexuality, it didn't automatically cast them away from His love. I've felt so torn this week. I believe the Bible. In every way. I long to be pleasing to my Father in every way. I could always do better. But what I remember is this. When God came to me in all my shame, my sin, my drama He didn't do it with judgement. He did it with love. 

" I have loved you, my people, with an everlasting love. With unfailing love I have drawn you to myself."~Jeremiah 31:3

It was the love of God that began my transformation. No one in this world had the ability to release me from my shame. It literally had turned into bondage & revealed itself in the form of control, anger, insecurity, and so on. Before I met God for the first time, I was spiraling out of control. I could not feel true joy. I had no peace & it was impossible to find happiness for any length of time. But then things changed. I diligently began to search scriptures that I felt lead to read. Slowly but surely God was refining who I was by way of His Son, Jesus & the love I could not deny when reading the scriptures. I also could not deny the way He had purposed for me to lead my life. The Proverbs spoke of the dangers of gossip, loaning money (believe it or not), being lazy but most importantly the necessity of wisdom. A whole new world had opened up to me. I no longer could be guilty of not knowing the TRUTH of the Word and quickly began to understand the scripture in Hosea 4:6 that said "My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge…" Knowledge being the truth of the scriptures. Wow! I'm convinced that no matter what you are bound by, no matter what the name of your sins, that the words my friend once told me are true. If you don't have a different relationship with sin then you don't have a relationship with God. Sin is what made it necessary for Jesus to come and die on the Cross. If He came to make right relationship between us & God what more of a sacrifice could God offer if after His death we refused to put sin in its rightful place. The definition of a sinner by Webster's Dictionary is this: one who has sinned; especially, one who has sinned without repenting; hence, a persistent and incorrigible transgressor; one condemned by the law of God
Note the lack of repentance. Repentance is when someone turns away from the deliberate choice to keep sin as the ruler in your life. The choice of sin & the refusal to remove it grieves God, I wholeheartedly believe that.

What I'm trying to say is this. God is the one who draws us to Him. There wasn't an amount of condemning, of judgement, or of pressure any human being could put on me about my state of sin dominating & ruling my life. I had to be wooed by my Savior, accept His love as truth & allow that to make me whole. Therefore I will walk in love towards others. Refusing to play judge or take the place of the Holy Spirit. Do I DISAGREE with certain lifestyles that are directly opposite of what the Bible says? Absolutely!. But do I pray that God will use me to love whomever He says & for the Holy Spirit to get the opportunity through my love to do His will, Yes! A resounding Yes! I pray that Christians don't have the misconception that loving those who are in a rut of sin means we agree or support their choices. I pray that we begin to be heartbroken for what breaks the HEART of OUR FATHER…It's with love that I write this & with love that I pray that those who are living away from God's will, will turn & repent... returning to their first LOVE, before it's too late. It is a choice you will never regret! It may be hard to let all that has controlled you for so long but be patient & expect bumps in the road! There is so much waiting on those who choose Jesus! 

“Rejoice and be glad, for your reward in heaven is great; for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you."~Matthew 5:12
Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love.~Revelation 2:4

If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.~ 1 John 1:9

Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away: behold all thing are become new.~ 2 Corinthians 5:17