Sunday, May 12, 2013

pure enjoyment...

This is the place I've longed for. The ability to live my life one day at a time & fully embrace it. To enjoy my husband's company & the many facets that come with being a hands on mom. To not feel like I was laboring in vein when washing dishes, sweeping, or cooking but finding delight in being a woman who takes care of her husband, children, and home just like it speaks of in Proverbs 31:13 "and works with her hands in delight(willingly)." I don't guess I realized that the very habits that kept me idle & docile also robbed me of being rewarded with a quiet, gentle spirit. It wasn't that God was holding back but that I was standing in His way. His path for me is God-led not Katie led. As hard as we may try our way is built & thought up by our own human minds. The bible is clear that God's ways are higher than ours yet we still think we know best. It's quite obvious to me now that I don't. Not without staying close to His side. I have been a Christian since a small child & a fully committed to seeking Him since 2008 yet 2013 has finally been the year of complete surrender to everything. The year I found what "rest" meant.  I've battled my mind for much of my life. Never enjoying the now because I was always contemplating the future or wishing something was different instead of letting it be the way it was & simply praying with faith that God would change what needed changing. I'm finally enjoying letting life flow & following God where He leads. I'm enjoying cherishing my life as simple & boring at times as it may seem...I reflect back on this day & smile because I felt the tangible experience of being found excellent in God's eyes & worth more than jewels and He did it through my husband & sons...

An excellent wife, who can find?
For her worth is far above jewels.
The heart of her husband trusts in her,
And he will have no lack of gain.
She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life.
She looks for wool and flax
And works with her [a]hands [b]in delight.
Proverbs 31:10-13

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