I have neglected what I've been gifted to do for Christ. To write what I hear Him saying. So here I am having not written since February. That's 6 months. Half a year. In other words...way too long. I've been carrying heaviness much of the latter part of this week & tonight I laid it down & listened closely while my heart emptied itself at His feet. I just sat there with Him. Making sure I knew that He was as close as my heart beat. So tender & just is He. As I asked about the children being innocently murdered in Iraq...my question was WHY? He quickly answered "They are no less dear to my heart than the millions of children murdered every year in America." I could hear the hurt as He spoke & the absolute disgust about the topic. He cares for the children...All of His children. Not the ones we chose to keep but those who are thrown away like the weekly garbage. Those that are neglected so parents can fulfill their fleshly desires. He asks me "What about those children? Will you pray for them? Will you grieve for their souls too as you do those in Iraq?" I was humbled. I was ever so gently & lovingly rebuked. Wake up America. Wake up...what have we tolerated for so long that we no longer are grieved about? Why does it take a visual representation on the news to stir our hearts to pray for His purpose. Why are we not more eager to pray until breakthrough? Instead I have been guilty of watching the news & not handling the fear that started to sneak in. I am guilty of not immediately handing it back to Him & letting Him direct me how to pray sooner. This country needs the prayer warriors to stand up. We need the complacent to get really uncomfortable & to seek His face for their reason to be alive. As I opened my bible I turned by chance to 2 Samuel 22. Verse 5 jumped out at me "When the waves of death surround me, The floods of ungodliness made me afraid." That's it. That's the ticket. I've allowed what's going on in the world to make me afraid but instead of addressing it. I somehow internalized it & that brings confusion. I remember as a little girl if I was afraid, wounded, or hurt tears were my natural response. Now I have to search for those tears. Work through the emotions I often think I'm feeling but indeed it's the deep desire to weep. To weep because I don't know & sometimes things plain old hurt. I can't tell the future but I know in whom my future is secure. I'm learning to not hesitate so long. To release it even when it's childlike tears because I'm scared. I was comforted as I read on in 2 Samuel 22 to verse 7"In my distress I called upon the Lord, And cried out to my God; He heard my voice from His temple, And my cry entered His ears." Yes...when we worship(which was done in the temple towards God) His ears are opened & He hears me. He hears you. David was speaking of God's deliverance from Saul & his enemies through His prayers & as he prayed that "The earth shook & trembled; the foundations of heaven quaked and were shaken, Because He was angry." Verse 9 "Smoke went up from His nostrils, and devouring fire from His mouth; Coals were kindled by it." Verse 10 " He bowed the heavens also, and came down with darkness under His feet." Chapter 22 goes on to explain how God intervened for David, His beloved. Friends that is our God too! He hears as we pour out our hearts. Are you heavy laden? His burden is easy & His yoke is light...because He carries the burden of the load. He says "Give it to me! Give me what scares you & know that just like I did for David I will handle your enemies swiftly. You are my beloved. I hear your humble heart cry out for Me to intervene & I shall call you up to rest here with Me. Will you? Will you make it habit to spend this time with Me? Will you not hold on to thoughts so long?" You can trust Him. He gives peace that the world hasn't known. His will is to impart the Kingdom of Heaven through you, through me. I have procrastinated with the best of them, no longer. The world is wide open & in desperate need. We must continue to dig deeper. To sit before Him & let His love perfect us. You know doubting doesn't cease to exist until we believe Him. So like a child I will sit in expectation that what He said He will do. I don't have to be afraid, not ever. This is how faith establishes it's roots deep within the soil of our hearts. This is how we are taught how to love like Jesus. How to be obedient to His nudge. The world needs you. More than anything the world needs us to walk in His truth. Sons & Daughters of the Living God, all of heaven is waiting on You! Trust Him. He is a faithful Father...I call on His name and He hears me...boy does that bring this weary heart comfort tonight.
All my love,
Katie "Joy"
