No one told me...

I asked for more of Jesus. To partake in His sufferings. To be given a heart to love like Him. To see with His eyes. To walk like Him & to take on His likeness. What I didn't expect. What they forget to tell you is that the rain will come, the wind will blow against your house, the hail will be so hard you think the roof might come down. No one told me the storm would rage all around me like it has. No one told me the affliction that would visit & make it's home with me. No one told me that the only way compassion is birthed is through the experience of loss. No one told me how lonely I would feel or how I would question my Savior the way I have I ashamedly admit. No one told me that the fire would get so hot that my only thoughts would be whirling around escape. No one told me that when I asked for more of Jesus that it came at such a high cost. No one mentioned the tangible pain that would visit so regularly for seasons on end. But can I be the one to tell you that it's all worth it. That no scheme of hell could intimidate this warrior. You see what I can tell you is only those who are willing to die truly live. What I can tell you is who you think you are is a shadow of who you are in Him. I can confidently tell you that you will not be utterly forsaken. What I will shout is His arm is not too short that it can not reach out to you. His ear not to deaf to hear your cry. I declare right now that you will move forward & walk out from that wilderness. I declare that the gift of His fire will leave you pure & spotless before the King. I speak the overflowing power of Yeshua course through your very blood supply & that your heartbeat be a reminder of His watch over your every move. I declare that fire fall & you endure until He has completed His work in you...

Come up higher...

Ponder with me for a moment…

If there is to be fruit in my life…I must completely die to self so that what is resurrected in the passing of my flesh (my way, my distorted thoughts, my strongholds) is truly BEAUTY for ashes.(Isaiah 61:3) For it is the Living Water provided in Jesus Christ that causes me to BLOOM in fullness & bear fruit, not for my glory but for the Father's alone. Pain often visits fruit bearers in the early days & unexpected times when we get complacent . Not to hurt us but to inflict enough disturbance that the hidden dark places of the heart are revealed & pruned away. I will tell you the way I have come to understand my Daddy God. When I am betrayed & have every reason to justifiably be hurt, He says my child forgive. I toss back & forth saying BUT what about me? He lovingly says I know baby, I saw it all, I've seen everything that's happened & I still ask you to come higher. The ways of the Kingdom are beyond the ways of the world. To be a fruit bearer you must absolutely die to the way your flesh desires to respond. God sees. He knows. He cares & for our good He still calls us to raise our standard to His. He doesn't change. He can't. He would be a liar if He justified our hurting & our tendency to hold onto hurts(that only hinder us in the end). No God in all circumstances sticks to His WORD no matter what has come to visit us in the wilderness & HE uses it to train us, if we will allow it. He prepares us for war against the enemy by using our trials for our good. You want to soar? You want to punch the devil in the face & makes sure he doesn't forget you? Then raise up, seek God for every move you make & by all means forgive, love, walk in peace, put to death your flesh.. Just like any lover, God(the lover of your soul) is jealous for ALL of you, your complete entirety, the deepest places you weren't aware of. The secret places you've worked tirelessly for years to cover up only to bear bad fruit such as anger, gossip, lying to keep up the dance that nothing is wrong. I'm here to encourage you to let His fiery love burn you in such a way that you are never the same, I encourage you to visit the most painful places & let the Living Water be poured into the dead, desolate places so that you are replacing all the lies of shame, guilt, worthlessness with TRUTH & you begin to BLOOM. He comes to declare you as His own, to place His seal over you heart. Don't be afraid of the wilderness…it's there you meet HIM up close & personal. He is the only one who WILL. EVER. TRULY. SATISFY. P.S...I'm beginning to see the most beautiful fruit come to life inside & I'm hell bent on teaching whoever will listen how God can do the same for you...

"Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm. For love is as strong as death, its jealousy as enduring as the grave. Love flashes like fire, the brightest kind of flame."~Song of Solomon 8:6